Realizations of Being Black
You don’t need to get defensive. You just need to let this sink in, and realize that this happens to us, all the time.
I remember when a white family from a predominantly white church I was visiting hosted me for dinner. Because I was my mother’s son and close to the pastor of the church I was visiting, the family wanted to curry favor and so invited me for dinner. People told me this family was like that, but I’ve always wanted to believe the best in people, so I ignored their warnings. After dinner, the table was cleared. My plate and silverware was thrown in their entirety into the garbage. Everyone else’s went into the dishwasher. I know this because I watched it happen. I’ll never forget that feeling and it still hurts.
So when we tell you that we feel some kind of way about how we’re treated simply because of the color of our skin, don’t get defensive, don’t get offensive, just listen and then ask why we feel the way we do, and then maybe even ask what you can do to help. But above all else, just listen and let it sink in.
For more, check out the CNN project “The First Time I Realized I Was Black.”
This is extremely powerful. So glad I stumbled upon this, it really is the small things that can haunt us for a lifetime. Listening really is the key, isn’t it. We so often have our own questions, answers, and thoughts and want to say them before first listening to another human being about their experience and how they feel.