Here I sit
Here I sit, wearing this stupid backpack full of books that are supposed to teach me something that will have no meaning on my life. Sitting alone, by design. Sitting on this table that is so poorly built and with no true purpose. It is in the center of this college field with nothing surrounding but the effort to reach such a desolate destination. the “table” trying to represent a metallic tree. Which is almost ironic with no real life around this structure. I have to sit on the leaves of the branches with no back support. After carrying this 28-pound bag for the past six hours I just want to take this thing off. I make no attempt to pull out any of the assignments assigned in class today. I do truly care about these classes, or I wouldn’t have signed up for them. But why do I have to learn what they teach me. What if I want to learn more? There is so much out there, and I am stuck at this table. I have to just be honest with myself. I probably won’t take any more of these classes. I don’t care for the teachers who are the cliché paid to be there teachers. It is almost shameful to see all these children. Who are trying to figure out about themselves and what kind of life they are going to try and live, being taught by people who is only teaching at this particular community college with a career advancement in mind. There is no learning in a place like this. Just more rules being taught. And right on queue here are more classes being let out. Every kid almost colliding into each other as they barge down the same little sidewalk with such abandon. I wonder if they even remember what they were taught, or just the stuff they have to complete to get the grade they need. It is quite amazing to see so many people invested in a place they try so hard to leave. No one is making anyone of them do anything. There is only a promise of a better life. A better life from what? I mean look at this guy. His black hair is very curly and very unkept. Has grey sweats that are the epitome of comfort. The jacket he seems to be wearing is actually very nice. I can’t help but think about how long it takes a handicapped man to get dressed. I wish I could ask him. Wow. Is he really going to wheel himself up this giant hill? Past all these kids walking in every direction, but towards him for help. This is a big hill, and these future lawyers, doctors, teachers, whatever they picture themselves to be in their heavenly life, are just going to let the weak struggle through, as always.
Here I sit, affiliated with these piles of shits. Watching, as he does his best to dodge the oncoming traffic. I can’t sit here anymore. I will go and help this man. He is quite far. There is no way that I can’t be the only person that sees this guy dedicating so much effort to the thing I hate. How is everyone still walking buy him. I really am going to ask this guy if he needs help to wherever he is going. Wow. He said yes, he would love the help!
Here he sits, as I push him up the hill to his car. I mean I am here; I might as well ask about his nice jacket. He tells me that he likes to look nice and it is hard to dress himself with his wife being handicapped as well. I must ask about the lifestyle of being in a handicapped relationship and casually this stranger tells me with such sincerity that he loves it. They have a couple of little kids they have a ball taking care of that can walk. I walk a little slower. He continues saying that he is at school to take a class to help with a promotion at his job. We are getting closer to his car and I feel I could learn a lot from this guy. I ask quick if he needs help into his car knowing he doesn’t. Trying to buy a little more conversation that seems to have real meaning. Knowing it is my last few seconds I ask what days his classes are. As he tells me it confirms my theory of us having a chance to talk all semester. I say goodbye still not asking for name because I never felt I needed to. It was just a stranger helping a stranger. I guess it is back off to the table that is undoubtedly still unoccupied. I just want to get this day over with now. There went the only thing that will give me any kind of feeling. I hope I do see him again soon. Ill hold out this semester as long as he is around.
Here I sit, back at this crappy table.