Ignorance is Bliss -but- Is Bliss Ignorance
This story was submitted anonymously to the How We Show Up collection as part of the July SEEQ sessions.
My authentic self is someone who is very outgoing and enthusiastic and blissful. During the time frame of purchasing my first home, my grandmother came to town and we went to dinner at my aunt and uncles house. Lasagna – I can still see the cheese bubbling as my aunt took the dish out of the oven and the aroma of hot Marinara sauce wafting through the open kitchen into the dining room. Already at the table, waiting to be served, my cousins – both high school-aged – sat at the table sharing whatever was on their iPhones with each other. Over dinner, we discussed the home purchasing process and my uncle was convinced that I was mistaken about the new laws put in place after the most recent economic recession. During the conversation, I was enthusiastic about my opinions, which I was sure were facts. At the same time, he was very serious about the experiences he had buying a house, that he too felt were fact and were in contrast to my understanding of the home purchasing process. After the sun had gone down and the ice cream we had for dessert was cleared from the table, it was time to depart and take my grandmother home. Immediately after pulling out of the neighborhood my aunt and uncle live in, grandma turned to me and said “I think because you’re so enthusiastic and happy-go-lucky, people think that you’re naïve and not that bright, I could tell your uncle thought so and was treating you like that tonight, but you’re right about the new laws.” Since that moment I’ve tried to judge when I should and shouldn’t be my authentic self. What places do I take my whole self to and where do I go that I leave some parts of myself at home. Will the people I’m seeing see past the self that some people think of as naïve and to the quick-witted, fun and smart person I think I am? If I want to be taken seriously, do I seriously need to re-wire my personality? The next question is then always: If I don’t show up as myself, who do I show up as? I know there are pitfalls and I know not everyone is to be trusted – but is it ignorant to assume the best and be positive? Is it ignorant to be outgoing? Sure, sometimes it doesn’t work out or sometimes I judge people wrong and they let me down. Other times things work out and plans go through flawlessly. People mistake my bliss for ignorance but they’re wrong.